Are You A "Bridesmaidzilla"? What you SHOULD and SHOULDN'T BE DOING for the bride.

Is your Sister, Friend, Mom, Aunt or Cousin Getting Married? 

You are super happy for her right?.... ...Of course you are happy and you aren't a BRIDESMAIDzilla?!...OR ARE YOU?

                 

We all know that planning wedding can be a happy, stressful yet fulfilling task that warrants support from a group of people, enter bridesmaids. We rarely talk about the responsibilities emotionally and financially a bridesmaid is expected to embark on during the brides journey. There are pivotal moments during the wedding process that require each bridesmaid individually to step up and be the second in command as well as a group effort that is expected to accomplish events such as bridal showers, dress selections, wedding day beauty and bachelorette parties. Whether in life you are a true type A personality or Diva or  If you have never been in a wedding, had a real conversation with a professional bridesmaid, you may not be prepared for what is to come. Lay YOUR wants and needs to the side because guess what, the day isn't about you, SURPRISE! I personally believe this is when a possible BRIDESMAIDzilla can be born. Don't fall easily into the difficult bridesmaid category or risk tarnishing a relationship or losing it all together because you didn't like the cap sleeves or  color of the dress. Trust me, it isn't worth it. 

DRESS SELECTION

Lets get this straight right now, you will have to spend a little cash on your dress. Lets just safely assume you have at least 12 months before the wedding. START SAVING NOW! Your bridesmaid dress; not including any alterations, may run you $150 to $200 dollars. Start a wedding savings fund for yourself. In the event your financial situation is meek and doesn't look like a change is on the horizon, you may want to politely opt out EARLY. Discuss your situation with the bride sooner than later. You can let her know your financial situation, what you can save or spend, maybe she will be willing to search for dresses within that budget or understand if you have to decline being a bridesmaid and perhaps play another role. Keys to this is being honest, sincere and apologetic.

Don't like the dress?? Chances are you might love or hate the dress the bride envisions all her ladies wearing. Consider yourself lucky if your bride is a practical fashionista and picks a dress you all love or better yet, allows you to choose your own style of dress. Bottom line is, as long as the dress fits and isn't prone for any wardrobe malfunctions, just wear it! The bride loves it, so should you.

BRIDAL SHOWER

Bridal showers can be fun, sentimental, memorable and a pain in a neck to plan with a number of other people. Unless you have planner who will take care of all the details based on what the bride, her family and friends suggestions, the bridal party will be putting on this traditional showering of gifts. Fun right?! Maybe! To ensure it is fun and without incident, start off right with the group and create a budget. You can even break down the budget, allocating what will be spent on venue, food, games, etc. With a realistic budget that everyone involved can agree to, you can start assigning tasks. Everyone isn't the cook, the master of ceremonies, or even the decorator, but everyone can have a tasks that best suites their talents. Don't try and have your hand in every job. Give deadlines as to when things should be done. That way, no one is micromanaging/annoying one another. 

BACHELORETTE PARTY

Time to party! You could be having a raging night or weekend in Vegas or a relaxing beach weekend with the girl, either way, everyone who the bride wants to be apart should know what is going on as soon as possible. Just like planning the bridal shower, you should set a budget, pick a few options to choose from. The earlier you figure it out, the better attendance you'll have. Don't be upset everyone can't attend. Sometimes those who don't come weren't supposed to be there. So, maybe you and one of the brides favorite friends don't quite see eye to eye, play nice! Remember, this is about your mutual friend, it'll be far much a fun experience for her and everyone else around if you can get through a night or weekend of fun without tearing each other apart. 

HAIR & MAKEUP

So its getting closer to the wedding and you know where you are supposed to be, what you will be wearing, do you who is doing your hair and makeup? You should know. The bride may have booked an onsite team for herself, it would be in good taste to participate if she offers. Don't be that bridesmaid who is scared and doesn't wear makeup or is a "makeup artist" herself or will just be natural. Everyone should look cohesive. The bride will of course look beautiful and so should you. Remember these photos will be her treasures for years to come, you don't want to be the odd one out. Trust me, you notice who didn't participate in morning beauty. It may only cost you a small amount too. Most onsite teams give discounts for larger bridal parties. It's only makeup and hair, it washed off and out but the brides happiness can last forever. 

WEDDING DAY TASKS

NOW you've done everything and its the day of. During hair and makeup or while getting dressed, a lot may be going on. It's important to remember that the bride is about to be the center of attention from more people than normal. Keep her relaxed, make her smile and be on time! Any drama that can and probably will arise along the way, try and be a shield or support positivity not your super stressful Facebook feud or what celebrity just got divorced. Its going to be a long but blurred day. 

Enjoy all the process of watching your bride get down the aisle. The months of planning, partying and prepping are well worth the end result and is much more memorable without a bridesmaidzilla.

BE BEAUTIFUL!